Coffee House Girl

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Posts by Coffee House Girl

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  48

  Today is my brithday and I feel depressed.

  by TotallyADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  woke up next to my wonderful wife after getting up she make me a great breakfast and for dinner tonight grilled steak and a brithday cake she made.

  so why am i depressed?

  could it be my children will not call me today to wish me a happy brithday.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Reading this thread made me realize how many sweet genuine people are here, awwwwww...

  and here's to you ADD and Reopened Mind ! Cheers to another good year on the "outside"

  CHG
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  22

  Who drove the Christendom Car in Field Service?

  by prophecor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  they were affectionately called christendom cars.

  you know, the 2 door coupes that the friends had to struggle to get in and out of the back seat, out in service.

  was it you, or did you do the spiritually respnosible thing and drive the 4 door sedan?.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Ah yes...I am still driving around my 4 door sensible chevy malibu that was purchased because I could drive it out in service....

  It is paid for so I am not selling, but next opportunity I cant wait to choose a car just because I like it :P

  CHG
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  30

  I now have a gay boyfriend! Disfellowship me!

  by TimothyT in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i cant believe how amazing i now feel as opposed to how aweful my life was but 4 months ago.. after some careful consideration, i decided to be gay despite being a jw.. the moment i chose this course, my life became so positive and i noticeably felt happy again.. 3 months ago i met a lovely man who took an interest in me.

  one week ago we decided it was time to become boyfriends.. well, i feel incredible.

  all i can say is that this course of life based on my being true to myself, despite the fact that it contradicts what i have been brought up to believe, has made life worth living again.. despite being gay, and slowly coming out to those who matter to me, i also have come to realise how flawed this organisation is anyway.. im a keen bible student but i dont see the organisations claim to authority.. to be honest, ill be glad to get out of it and start living my life as happily as i can whilst still trying my best to serve god.. thanks to those who supported me and of course to my boyfriend 'jackal' who joined this forum in order to understand what has made up my entire upbringing!.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I am so happy for you Timothy & I am impressed with Jackx maturity and sensitivity to support you and try to understand the JW baggage we all carry (especially in the beginning of the escape from JW land)

  You will need his support and love in the next months as you get to move on with your real life and the reality of a DFing comes to pass (if you have family in the org it can be really hard opening two closet doors so to speak)

  I wish you both the best!

  CHG
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  23

  1 year since my last meeting!

  by Alfred in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just realized that today marks my first year since attending a meeting at the kh... i really wanted to celebrate this day but it just creeped up and its kinda late now... i guess i'll celebrate tomorrow night instead.. but i wanted to log in to thank everyone who has helped me with their valuable insight and perspective... i came to this site with a typical judgemental jw mentality and now i can say i'm completely rid of all that... i now value everyone's opinions and talk more freely with people i used to consider "worldly"... what a completely freeing experience!.

  the hardest part of my exit from the cult was convincing my wife... that took about 6 months and i nearly gave up... thank god she eventually woke up.. also, in the past year i've read.... gentile times reconsideredcombatting mind controlcrisis of conscience*in search of christian freedomapocalypse delayed*3 books out of the 7 "studies in the scriptures"5 rutherford books*i met 2 of the people mentioned in crisis of conscience and apocalypse delayed and had dinner with them recently... hoping to build that relationship further.. i've also sent about 26 emails to several elders on a variety of subjects and 6 letters to the brooklyn and i'm still not da's or df'd!

  none of these emails or letters changed anything but it helped me purge.... i could go on and on but it's the same story you've probably read a thousand times already.. anyway, if it wasn't for all the support and encouragement i received on this site (as well as randy's site and barbara's site), i wouldn't be where i am today.. so a big thank you to you all!!!.

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  Coffee House Girl

  It will be 2 years for me in September & I know I would still be scared and lost without the advise and support from JWN!

  Cheers everyone

  CHG
• 
  51

  I need support please

  by AwSnap in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for the most part, i am able to understand how my family treats me.

  i was a jw for 20 years...since birth.

  i used to shun people.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I am wishing you early congrats on the new arrival! I would only echo the same comments as everyone else...we all carry the grief of having family that treats us like we are dead- we all were in the borg and did those same things at one time as you said in your opening thread-

  so we understand their actions but it still hurts us when we are on the receiving end of their misplaced loyalty-

  I hope you can have some peace in your last weeks and you have a safe and smooth delivery (is that possible???I've never gone thru it so I give you props!)

  CHG
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  19

  So, a bit about myself and where I stand.

  by Knowsnothing in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've lurked on this forum since about the end of '10.

  my first "apostate experience" began @ age 14. first a little backround.. i was baptised at 10, and did so mostly out of:.

  ) pressure from my mom to get baptised so that i would be safe from armaggedon(she was probably pressured from elders),.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Thanks for sharing knowsnothing, I can relate to your feelings of extreme guilt and fear of disappointing mom, thinking you are a hypocrite because everyone thinks you are "spiritual" but you are really just going through the motions...watching your life pass you by and doing nothing with it.

  I got out almost two years ago and JWN has been a real help (and to tell you the truth I love the sarcasm and honest sympathy shown here)

  Welcome!

  CHG
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  29

  Dating after Divorcing a JW...

  by RagingBull in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  any experiences/advice on dating (moving on) after a separation or divorce from a jw?.

  i know that when (not if) i leave the org, my wife will probably separate then divorce me (and we have 3 small children).

  i only know of horror stories when it comes to that type of scenario.

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  Coffee House Girl

  My JW spouce DA'd and left over 7 years ago now, because of the whole "no scriptural evidence for a divorce" decree from the elders I was forced into singlehood for 5 years- parts of those five years were frustrating because of the JW circumstance but....

  that time gave me room to become independent, live on my own completely and learn about what mistakes I made the first time and what kind of person I would look for as a companion the next time.

  Now after leaving the organization I have found a very nice man who is really my partner and friend (very different from the kind of person I picked when in my 20's). I didn't date a lot either but I knew what a gem I had in Coffee Shop Guy when I found him!

  Best of luck- if your marriage ends my advise is to give it some time and don't jump into a serious relationship too quickly (having casual "fun" is only ok if both parties are emotionally mature to handle it so be careful)

  CHG
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  13

  NEW Young People Ask book - Mad Sweeney's Version

  by Mad Sweeney in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  young people ask - mad sweeney's answers.

  dealing with family.

  1. how can i talk to my parents?.

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  Coffee House Girl

  If only I had the mad sweeney version as a teen I would have avoided many many mistakes and not wasted so much damn time!!!

  thanks

  CHG
• 
  32

  Take a moment this Memorial Day weekend...

  by Mr. Falcon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "remember all the movies, terry, we'd go see .

  trying to learn how to walk like heroes we thought we had to be .

  and after all this time to find we're just like all the rest .

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  Coffee House Girl

  great sentiments Falcon, I raise to you and to my lost friends- josh & clay...here's to you kids

  CHG
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  13

  Questions from the Essay "Self-Identity and Growing Up in the Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Reopened Mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.

  only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.

  i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.

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  Coffee House Girl

  sure

  1. I had very limited choices as a teen (one choice)- choice to become a regular pioneer upon graduation from high school, that was the pressured choice & thus I told everyone that pioneering was what I wanted to do. I had no choice to date until age 18 (witnesses only). I had an 11 oclock curfew upon age 18 & I was not allowed to go out with a group of peers (other witness teens of course) before that age

  2. no I was not in the "clique"- I was a nobody because my dad didn't go to meetings so all the kids with both mom and dad in the truth avoided me, didn't invite me over, or talk to me at the hall.

  3. I also did not fit in at school because I was the witness kid who could not go over to anyone's house or date or swear or get involved in sports- I WAS A SOCIAL LEPER

  4.I do feel free to have my own opinion now that I am outside the organization, I enjoy being open minded to many ideas & I enjoy observing how mainstream society works- but I do still feel like an outsider looking in. I get panicky at the thought of going to a party or meeting a group of people socially- going to school and work is fine & I can interact with others normally but I still bring up my JW past often to people who have no idea what is involved in leaving the WT society.

  5.I have one friend, my fiance. I have trouble relating to people enough to have a desire to form a friendship- thus in many ways I still feel very isolated.

  6. Not personally for my issues leaving the WT, fiance and I did receive pre-marriage counseling where my issues were the main focus of many of the sessions.

  7.I do not think of myself as a good person because of my JW upbringing, I dont think I turned out any nicer than anyone else. Many of the things that I do that others percieve as good, upright, and responsible are the result of fear and following a set of rules- not because of a genuine desire to do good. I think that is an important difference between myself and other "good people" who are good and were not raised in a cult- they genuinely like doing good and feel good about being a nice person. I feel in many ways like a fraud (always have been).

  thanks...it did feel good to get that off my chest

  CHG